(Note: If you haven’t figured it out already, I post these columns the week after they run in the paper.)
The last few weeks I’ve enjoyed asking other mamas what their plans are for Mother’s Day.
One mama wants to spend the day bike riding. Another mama wants to finally watch the movie “Twilight.” Still another mama told me that she simply wants to be left alone for the day with her books and her coffee and her own cozy spot on the couch.
These mamas have got the day figured out. I have a feeling that they will get what their wanting this year. It’s hard not to when you’re the one doing all of the planning.
We mothers are, by our very nature, planners. One of the major responsibilities of our mothering job includes planning the daily lives of each and every person in the house: every birthday party, sporting event, extracurricular activities, and every single holiday event listed on the calendar. This includes Mother’s Day.
Last year I left all of the planning and gift buying completely up to my lovely spouse and my darling children. After a lukewarm cup of coffee in bed and a quick kiss good morning, I spent the rest of the day doing laundry and watching everyone else relax.
Note to all of my fellow mamas: Never tell your husband and kids that you don’t want a present. You’ll be lying and they’ll being taking you seriously.
I’m not dense enough to make that same mistake twice. As some brilliant mind once said, “If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.” This includes creating Honey-Do lists for your own personal reward.
I’ll admit that I’m not much of a list maker. I do a fairly decent job of keeping track of everything inside of my own head. But I’ve learned the hard way that it’s difficult for other people to know your plan of action if it isn’t written down somewhere.
When you don’t write things down you tend to hear things like, “How was I supposed to know that you wanted that done?” from the husband that you just finished yelling at.
So I decided this year that I would take Mother’s Day planning into my own hands, the way God intended, and create a list of my wishes, hopes and desires for this Mother’s Day.
First, I’d like to sleep in. This of course will require someone else to get up and cook breakfast. Please do not let them eat on the furniture. If I find one more strawberry Pop Tart smeared on the couch I’m going to ban them from the house. (The children, not the Pop Tarts.)
At some point I’d like a nice picture taken of me with my boys. Everyone must be clean and smile without making silly faces or posing like the Incredible Hulk. And by the way, it needs to be taken in good lighting that makes me look thin and rested. In other words, make the impossible possible.
Don’t forget to take the kids shopping for my gift. There’s nothing specific that I want. Just let the kids pick something out. However, do not let them buy me the following: anything related to cooking or cleaning, anything that reminds me of my diet or lack thereof, or any type of clothing especially underwear with the word “angel” written in rhinestones across the crotch. (That actually happened once.)
Finally, I’d like to spend some quality time together as a family doing something that we’d all enjoy. I’d rather not spend it playing video games or playing the boys’ new favorite game, dodge ball, in the backyard. I’m such an easy bruiser.
All I really want this Mother’s Day is to be together, doing something that requires lots of laughing, hugging, and occasionally someone telling me what a great mom I am.
No matter what you do, I promise to act surprised.
I simply couldn’t have planned it better myself.