Overheard and Just Plain Disgusting

I heard my boys laughing hysterically. Naturally, I followed the delightful sound until I found them.

In my bathroom.

With their shirts off.

Putting on my deodorant.

“What are you guys doing?” I asked.

Still laughing they answered, “We don’t know.” And answer that for whatever reason threw them into total hysterics.

I had no idea that my deodorant could be so funny. I can’t wait to see how they react once they discover my tampons.

I heard the Cheese politely say to his brother, “Do you mind if I sit there, please?”

And just as I was thinking, Wow! He’s being so polite! and before he had given his little brother a chance to respond, I heard him say, “I said get out of my seat right this minute!”

Who knew that he could go from zero to yelling in 3 seconds flat? (I wonder who he learned that from???)

“Mom? (Because every sentence out of the Monkey’s mouth currently starts with the word ‘Mom?’) Um, Mom? My butt is scratchy.”

“Okay, bud. Why don’t we put you in the tub.” Because in our house the words scratchy butt are code for, “I didn’t wipe very well and now my butt itches.”

So just to make it extra fun, I agreed to put him in our over sized tub–a rare and exciting treat. I left him in the tub (my first mistake) to went to check on the Cheese’s room clean-up progress.

In the minute–I’m not kidding–that I was gone I heard a faint, “Mom?” coming from my bathroom.

And when I arrived back in my bathroom, do you know what I found? I had made it through 8 years of motherhood and it finally happened: my son, my 5 year-old totally potty trained son, had actually pooped in the tub.

Hello, Monday. You suck.

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