Once upon a time, I was a fashionable person. I had a closet that others envied. Not any more.
I always swore that I wouldn’t spend my days in yoga pants and T-shirts. Just because other mothers did it didn’t mean that I had to.
So what am I wearing today? The same thing that I’ve been wearing for the majority of the last 8 years: yoga pants and a T-shirt.
Do I want to look cute? Of course! What girl doesn’t? But the effort required (and often the money) just isn’t there. But occasionally I’ll get the fashion bug. Suddenly all I want to do is shop and be in fashion and look like a person who cares. Why just the other day I was on a fashion website that listed the “Top Trends for This Fall.” Here they are in order with–unfortunately–my immediate reaction to each:
1. Over-the-knee boots. I have a hard enough time getting regular boots to zip up over my fat calves. Trying to get a pair over my knees and my thighs will only make me hate myself more. Besides, over-the-knee boots reminds me of Pretty Woman and looking like a girl workin’ a corner isn’t a look that I personally want to achieve.
2. Military. If this includes camo print yoga pants, I’m in.
3. Lace-up boots. What is the damn fascination with boots? And ones that lace up? Yeah. Not gonna happen.
4. Vintage details. Is my sorority sweatshirt that I cut the neck out of in 1991 (and is the softest thing in the entire universe) finally old enough to be considered vintage? Sweet!
5. Skinny cords. (Snort.) Whatever. You lost me at the word “skinny.”
6. Faux fur. I already wear fur on a daily basis. I spend my days vacuuming up fur from my three dogs. Fur naturally covers every piece of clothing I own.
7. Blanket sweaters. Now this is something to be excited about! And leopard print is in, which means that I will totally rock that leopard print Snuggie this season. I’m gonna look hot!
8. Spat boots. More freakin’ boots. I’m already tired of boots and Fall isn’t even officially here yet.
9. Saddle bags. I already have these! (But I have a feeling it’s not the same saddle bags that they are referring to.)
10. Feminine jewels. My mother always taught that my feminine jewels were precious and that I shouldn’t just give them away to the first boy that asks for them because it’s more important to love…but…wait, that’s probably not what they are talking about either.
There’s a quote I read that says, “Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are.” Well people of the fashion world, I know exactly who I am. I am a mother who is busy and tired and looks hot in a clean pair of yoga pants and a semi-wrinkled T-shirt. And it makes me very happy.
Hope you’re wearing something that makes you happy today. Happy Friday!