Real Housewives Overshare

Okay.  For a while I’ve debated.  To post or not to post?  Now it seems like such a silly question.

See this housewife?

In case you live on Mars and haven’t watched any of the Real Housewives episodes, that’s Taylor from the Beverly Hills series.

So I’m watching it a while back and the Golfer walked into the room.

“How do you watch that crap?” he asked, then proceeded to sit and watch with me.

Suddenly he said, “Hey…that’s Shana!”

“What?  No,” I said.  “That’s Taylor.  She’s from Oklahoma.”

“I know,” he said.  “Her real name is Shana and I went out with her.”

I hit pause on the remote.  My Golfer?  Dated one of the Housewives?  Please God, No.  I know the golfer dated other women, but one of the Housewives?  I couldn’t help but throw up in my mouth a little.

You see, there was a period of time, close to a year, that the Golfer and I were broken up.  He dated.  I dated.  Just not each other.  And apparently, one of the people that he dated while we were broken up was this Shana/Taylor person.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” I said.  “Her name is Taylor.”

And then he explained.

When he knew her, back in the mid-90’s, her name was Shana.  But then suddenly she decided to start calling herself Taylor even though that was her last name.  Everyone thought it was weird, but according to the Golfer she was a little weird.  Then the Golfer took her out on a date and confirmed her weirdness and that was that.  Now, here she was on Bravo living in Beverly Hills telling people that she’s gonna take you outside and get “all Oklahoma up on your ass.”  Proud, proud moment for all women from Oklahoma now living in California.

Anyway, now several blogs (here and here for example) have exposed Shana/Taylor for who she really is and I can’t help but feel scooped.  I mean, I had the story months before anyone else!  I could have broken the news to the world!  I missed my opportunity!  Bummer.

But don’t worry.  I asked the Golfer the question I know you’re all wondering.

“Did her lips look like when you took her out?”

“No,” he said.  “They didn’t look like that.”

So she wasn’t weird enough to blow up her lips like Disneyland balloons, but she was weird enough to start calling herself by her last name.  Ah, I see.  Makes sense.

After that, I couldn’t help myself.  Every time the show came on I would yell, “Honey!  You’re girlfriend is on T.V.”  For some reason, he didn’t find it funny.

But I do.


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