Wicked Witch of the West Coast

Is there a Halloween equivalent to Ebenezer Scrooge? Or a Halloween Grinch? Because that’s where I am this Halloween. I’m Ebenezer Scrooge. I’m the Grinch. I’m the Wicked Witch of the West Coast.

Have you ever had this happen to you? When it’s time to start decorating and celebrating a holiday and you just don’t have it in you? That’s been me. I’m just not in the mood this year. I have two huge orange tubs of Halloween decorations in the garage that I haven’t even bothered to open. Dragging everything out is a process and then 31 days later I have to clean it all up and put it all away. Pulling all of that shit out for Christmas is one thing. But Halloween? No thanks. The above picture? Yeah, that’s the extent of my decorating this year. I didn’t even buy pumpkins for the porch! What has happened to me?!?

This will be the first time in 14 years that I have not bought a Halloween costume for one of my boys. Of course, I knew with B starting high school this year that he probably wouldn’t/shouldn’t be interested in dressing up. But my youngest? He’s only 11. I kind of thought he had a couple of years left, but he decided that he wasn’t really interested in dressing up this year. Am I upset by this you ask? Does this make me sad? NOPE. Not. One. Bit.

Usually, I’m huge on traditions. I love traditions, especially the ones that are connected to the holidays. Our Halloween involves carving pumpkins, tasteful orange and black decor both inside and outside, candy corn pumpkins, watching It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown at least once. We did watch Linus in the pumpkin patch and of course, I bought some candy corn pumpkins, but that’s been about it.

When I look at old pictures of the boys in their Halloween costumes, I feel my heart long for them to be little again. Oh, how cute they were! They were Dalmatians and teddy bears and little Yodas. There was Lightening McQueen, football players, and a fireman, skeletons and Storm Troopers. Lots and lots of cute costumes. Will I be sad on Halloween when my boys aren’t dressing up? Will I feel like we are missing out not going to Trick-or-Treat? NOPE AGAIN.

First of all, if there’ s no costumes there’s no Trick-or-Treating, and I don’t need all of that damn candy in the house. The less candy in my life, the better. I promised the boys that I would buy some candy for them. They requested Butterfingers, Kit Kats, and peanut butter cups. I promised I would buy a SMALL BAG of each for them to enjoy and that’s it. They agreed.

Second, I saved both money and sanity not searching for or ordering on Amazon whatever crazy expensive costumes they requested and then having to return the costume and find another one when they change their minds a week later.

And finally, no pumpkins means no carving which means no pumpkin guts and mess to clean up or rotting pumpkins to throw away.

So for a quick recap, I won’t have gigantic bags of candy in the house taunting me for months on end, I have extra money in my pocket, I feel no stress (about Halloween anyway), and no pumpkin guts to deal with. Does that make me a Scrooge or a Grinch or a Witch? No. I think it makes me a genius.

Happy Halloween! (Or not… I don’t care.)

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