I loved the part in the movie Pretty Woman when Julia Robert’s character would hug her friend Kit De Luca and Kit would say, “Take care of you.” I have always loved that line. To me it was like saying “be careful, I love you, take care of yourself” all combined. I wish I could use that line, but I don’t think I could pull it off the way Kit and Julia could.
Genuinely caring for other people is an excellent quality. It is a quality I strive for. I don’t like fake care. You know, the people who act like they care, asking you about yourself and then not caring one bit about the answer? Yeah, that kind of fake care. And of course, there are the people who care so little they don’t even bother asking or pretending. These people don’t even care about acting like they care. A while back I was feeling hurt about the lack of interest some people were showing me. They seemed to have absolutely no interest in how I am, who I am, or what I do. I got all worked up, allowing the negative emotions to take over when my husband said something I needed to hear.
“It doesn’t matter.”
Now normally, I would let a statement like this one to absolutely go all over me. I would fire back a quick, “OF COURSE IT MATTERS!” But it seems that with maturity come perspective and I have learned that he’s right. Other people’s interest in how I am, who I am, or what I do doesn’t matter. I don’t have to care about whether or not other people care. As long as I am mindful to take care of myself, I shouldn’t put any energy into worrying about the fact that other people don’t.
You see, when Kit says, “Take care of you” that is exactly what she’s saying. Be sure to take care of yourself. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Don’t expect anyone else to do it because they won’t. The expectations that you are putting on others to care for you or about you will only leave you disappointed and hurt and bitching about it to your husband.
I recently stumbled upon an Instagram feed by a life coach who shared these 12 tips about self-care. I love these. They are simple and true and worth repeating as often as necessary.
- If it feels wrong, don’t do it.
- Say exactly what you mean.
- Don’t be a people pleaser.
- Trust your instincts.
- Never speak badly about yourself.
- Never give up on your dreams.
- Don’t be afraid to say, “No.”
- Don’t be afraid to say, “Yes.”
- Be kind to yourself.
- Let go of what you can’t control.
- Stay away from drama and negativity.